


you're done with being lonely now

by winterbreath



Series: all this love [1]
Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 10:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17917091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterbreath/pseuds/winterbreath
Summary: They’re Joohyun and Seungwan. But they’re also Irene and Wendy.





	you're done with being lonely now

**Author's Note:**

> i'm six months into learning korean so forgive me if you find any incorrect references. let me know as well so i can make improvements. (this also isn't my first fanfic, i've written a couple on a different account but this is my first real-person fiction. so this is also quite a journey for me.)

/

Joohyun stretches her back, aligning it straight against the large mirrors of the dance studio. She’s sore from sitting but would much rather sit than go back doing the same routine for RBB.

She knows the dance by heart, can perform it without thinking, but somehow they keep practicing; because Seulgi is right—you never really know when you’re gonna fuck up on stage. Practicing lowers that risk.

She looks around and sees their choreographers working it with Yerim. The girl isn’t particularly bad at it but her enthusiasm—or sometimes, the lack of it—shows when they perform on stage. She’s tired right now—and always, because she’s forced to grow up way too early. So sometimes, the maknae allows herself to fuck up the routine. It’s a kind of normalcy she holds on to, something far from the perfection always demanded from her.

The four of them are done rehearsing really, but the choreographers demanded Yerim to do two more rounds. All four girls refuse to leave.

So, there’s Sooyoung on the far corner of the room, huddled by herself. She doesn’t look tired, just used to it. But she’s texting someone on her phone and she’s smiling from time to time. It’s that guy again from that group that hasn’t debuted yet. Sooyoung says they’re not dating, and Joohyun believes her because Sooyoung doesn’t date. She texts and flirts but doesn’t date ever—and it’s scary to think it’s gonna get her in trouble someday.

For now, she’s careful and that’s enough for Joohyun.

There’s Seulgi, sitting on one of the couches with her earphones on. It’s one of those k-dramas again. The last time Joohyun asked which drama she’s watching, she almost got an hour-long presentation of why she needs to watch said drama—plot, acting, pretty locations, and all. Since then, Joohyun never really asked. But it’s nice to think she could go to Seulgi and talk about mundane things.

It’s the kind of normalcy Joohyun holds on to. Slightly different than Yerim’s, also less destructive, but just as valid. Sometimes, she envies Seulgi—to be that carefree and pure. To have k-dramas as the mere reason she cries at night.

She glances at the clock. 10:12, it reads—and it makes Joohyun sigh. They shouldn’t be spending more than two hours practicing the same routine. She chances a glance at Yerim again. She thinks she’s going through something, makes a mental note to talk to their youngest member later.

Joohyun stands up and stretches her legs. That’s when she spots Seungwan.

Their main singer is sat next to JiYoon-ssi, one of their assistants. They’re talking in low voices but Suengwan is still very animated, her face and hands doing the talking as much as her mouth does. It makes Joohyun smile, knowing their main vocalist is entertaining their staff because it’s late and the members aren’t the only ones who get tired.

She was supposed to go to outside and take a walk, maybe go to the bathroom to do absolutely nothing but Joohyun finds herself walking to Seungwan’s direction, slow and steady steps to avoid distracting Yerim even more.

She takes a seat by the space next to the vocalist and Joohyun doesn’t know how, doesn’t have any explanation for it, but her whole body just simply gravitates to the younger girl. She snakes her arm around Seungwan’s and rests her head on the other girl’s shoulder. Without any words exchanged and without interrupting her discussion with JiYoon-ssi, Seungwan adjusts her body slightly to accommodate Joohyun.

The whole thing happens so naturally, like they’ve been doing this dance forever. It’s another kind of normalcy Joohyun holds on to, like an anchor that keeps her steady when the world becomes too much.

(And it happens very often; the world is often too much for Joohyun.)

For a few moments, they just sit there. Joohyun watches Yerim dance, Seungwan just continues to talk to JiYoon-ssi—about what, Joohyun’s not really sure but it’s probably about the assistant’s niece. That’s just the kind of conversations Seungwan would have with their staff—because she knows their families, knows their whereabouts.

The clock strikes 10:40 and JiYoon-ssi stands to call it a day. There’s a collective sigh of relief from everyone as they all start to collect their stuff. The drive to the dorm is short. They’d be home in less than 20 minutes if they wrap it up quickly.

“Ready to go?” Seungwan asks, not moving from their spot.

Joohyun only nods and hums; and Seungwan understands because she always does.

“Are you going to talk to her?” Seungwan asks, her eyes trained on their maknae.

“She seems distracted. I don’t know how to approach her.”

“You do, though,” Seungwan argues.

Joohyun lifts her head from the other girl’s shoulder to meet her eyes, questioning the argument.

Seungwan nods, encouraging her, “You know how to approach her. You know how to approach us.”

Joohyun makes a move to stand, shoulders sagging in defeat.

Did she want to become the leader? Hell no. But will she become the leader they need? Absolutely yes. Joohyun thinks she does it out of love, Irene thinks it’s out of obligation.

(The line between Joohyun and Irene is clear, at least for matters like this.)

.

Joohyun can’t say she didn’t see it coming when a fight breaks soon as they get home.

Yerim is marching first, feet heavy against the pavement. Then, there’s a snide remark from Sooyoung about extended rehearsals and being too tired to deal with everything. It’s a screaming match soon as they step inside the dorm.

It starts with a _you didn’t have to wait for me,_ followed by a _you always act like you can’t be left alone_ , and Joohyun knows this isn’t going to be resolved tonight.

Seulgi seeks Joohyun’s eyes for a moment before she whispers a quiet, “Come on,” to Yerim. Seungwan is beside Sooyoung in an instant, pulling her back.

Fights around the dorm never get physical but Yerim and Sooyoung are both loud when they fight, so it’s easy to imagine it reaching a breaking point.

“Stop it,” Irene half-yells. It’s _that_ tone. She doesn’t use this tone very often but they listen when she does. “You both said things you didn’t mean. Shut your mouths or you’re going to say something you both will regret. We can’t afford that now, can we?”

There’s only dead silence in the room.

Irene nods, satisfied that her short speech worked, “Rest up. Let’s see if there’s something we need to discuss tomorrow.”

Yerim breaks out of Seulgi’s grasp quite aggressively as she marches to her room. Seulgi disappears to her room as well, not wanting to be part of this anymore.

Sooyoung softens, mouthing a defensive, _she started it_ as she turns to Seungwan, waiting for the shorter girl to validate her thoughts.

“Sleep it off, Sooyoung-ah,” Seungwan dismisses, her voice low and empathetic.

Joohyun’s always admired their relationship. They’ve always been closer and Sooyoung’s always looked for Seungwan’s validation on _everything_. There’s respect there, but there’s also friendship and love.

Sooyoung huffs, like a child who didn’t get what she wanted. She turns to Irene with an expression that’s more vindictive than hurt, “You always take her side.”

“Sooyoung-ah,” Wendy warns.

“What?” Sooyoung mutters, shrugging as if saying something so true.

“Sleep it off,” Seungwan says. This time her voice is firmer, a certain finality laced with her tone.

It’s that change in tone that eventually makes Sooyoung give in. She mutters a _whatever_ before she walks out on them and marches to her room.

There’s a few seconds of quiet before Joohyun turns to Seungwan and asks, “Do I always take Yerim’s side?”

A smile breaks out of the younger girl’s lips.

“Why are you smiling?” Joohyun questions.

The shorter girl steps closer to her, taking her hand. She squeezes Joohyun’s hand reassuringly, as if promising there’s nothing to worry about. Joohyun’s whole body believes it.

“She was upset,” Seungwan says. “She says things like that when she’s upset.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

“Also doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“This isn’t going anywhere.”

Seungwan chuckles, “It’s not.”

There’s just silence between them again. They’re looking at each other in the middle of this living room. It’s as if words are floating around them waiting to be picked and formed into coherent sentences that would speak volumes about things they probably shouldn’t say.

So they don’t say it. Because saying them will make it real.

The shorter girl squeezes her hand one more time, “Get some rest, unnie. They’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that?”

Seungwan shrugs, “Some things are just true.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about them.”

“You always know what to do. You’re—” she lifts her other hand, balls it to a fist, and acts as if it’s a microphone, “Woman of the Year, Bae Joohyun,” she announces, like she’s at an awards show.

Joohyun can’t help but smile, “Seungwan-ah!”

“Good night, Woman of the Year, Joohyun-unnie.”

That and the girl turns to resign to her room. Joohyun just watches her. Irene urges her to look away.

(The line between Joohyun and Irene is also very clear on this one. But there are moments when the line disappears. It’s always Irene who keeps drawing them.)

.

Joohyun wakes up early and prepares breakfast for all of them. Food. Food is always a good plan. Food fixes everything.

She prepares _siraegi-guk_ , steamed egg, and spinach tofu—an extremely traditional combo but she knows her members would love it. Who’s the better cook between her and Seungwan… that’s a discussion for another day.

She’s almost done preparing the food, just adding final taste touches, when another person joins her.

“Unnie,” Sooyoung gently calls out as she slides by the stool across Joohyun. The kitchen island is ample but it’s also small, so her presence is hard to miss.

Irene is standing and moves a little bit around. She doesn’t say anything, just busies herself with the food she’s preparing. This is how Sooyoung does her apologies: let her talk.

“I’m sorry about what I said last night,” Sooyoung mutters under her breath. It’s silent but it’s sincere. “I also walked out and that’s very disrespectful to you and Seungwan.”

Joohyun has to hide a smirk. It’s like Sooyoung is listing all the things she did wrong.

When no more words follow, Joohyun stops what she’s doing and meets Sooyoung’s expecting gaze.

“I’m not mad.”

“I know,” Sooyoung nods. “I just—“ she stutters, “I know Yerim is going through something but I snapped because I was so tired. Then, I took it out on you.”

“Do you think I take sides and I always take hers?”

“I didn’t mean that,” the younger girl says. “You and Seungwan take turns.”

“What?”

You know when you fight with your siblings and you talk to your parents about it? Doesn’t this whole conversation feel like that? Joohyun is internally shocked at the realization. Or _shookt_ as Yerim would say.

They’ve joked about it before but she’s really the parent here, isn’t she?

“I mean,” Sooyoung feels comfortable now, assuming forgiveness, so she moves around the kitchen and grabs a mug from the rack. “When we fight, you take turns. Sometimes, Seungwan talks to me and you talk to Yerim. Then, it’s the other way around.”

“Really?” Joohyun manages. “I didn’t notice.”

Sooyoung only shrugs.

Comfortable silence embraces them for a while before another person joins in.

“Yah!” the third person calls out and lightly hits Sooyoung’s arm with her hand as if scolding her. “Did you apologize to Joohyun-unnie?”

Joohyun actually laughs, Seungwan has officially joined them.

“I did!” Sooyoung kind-of whines. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Aish,” Seungwan makes a sound, then makes a show of rolling her eyes.

“Are you upset?” Sooyoung asks, again with that validation-seeking tone.

“No,” Seungwan responds, a smile finally gracing her face. She then turns to Joohyun, “Hi,” and then winks.

“Yah!” Sooyoung cringes and Seungwan laughs. Honorifics be damned. “It’s too early to be this disgusting.”

“I’m your unnie,” Seungwan fakes a commanding tone.

Sooyoung doesn’t buy into it. “Ugh,” the younger girl hops off her seat, “I’ll set the table.” She then leaves Seungwan and Joohyun alone, moving around to complete the task she took.

Seungwan takes Sooyoung’s seat as Joohyun finishes preparing the food.

“Are Seulgi and Yerim awake now?”

“I heard music from Seulgi’s room so she’s probably just waiting to be called for food,” Wendy responds. “Yerim’s still probably asleep.”

“Wake her up,” Joohyun commands. “We’re all having breakfast together.”

“Why me? She was snappy last night,” Seungwan tries to escape this task.

“I already talked to Sooyoung.”

“She spoke to you.”

“I was here early so she could,” Joohyun bites back. There's a hint of smile on her face.

Seungwan already feels her defeat. She squints her eyes, trying to find an argument. Joohyun just stares at her.

A few seconds and—

Yeah… there’s just no winning against Irene. “Fine, I’ll take Yerim,” Seungwan concedes.

“Good.”

Seungwan hops off her seat and makes a move to leave. But not before she says, “See? I told you, you got this.”

Joohyun softens in an instant.

“Thank you,” Joohyun mutters under her breath. She ducks her head, humbled by the way Seungwan looks at her. Like she really believes in her.

“I got your back, you know. Always.”

The older girl looks back up and sees Seungwan already looking at her. She’s beaming, smiling as if Joohyun put the sun in the sky after a stormy night. She’s always looked at her like this—like she means the world to her and _god,_ Joohyun would like to believe it; that there’s a world out there that allows this bubble between her and Seungwan to exist.

She knows it. She knows Seungwan knows it, too.

They’re Joohyun and Seungwan. But they’re also Irene and Wendy—and Irene and Wendy just can’t.

So she presses this feeling down. She locks it down and pretends she doesn’t see it in Seungwan’s eyes. It’s there but it’s hard to acknowledge it.

She’s heard stories about love and how it sometimes blooms in places you least expected it to. She also heard about stories of love that’s just there… a constant. When they look at you from across the room, and it completes you. It grounds you.

It makes you fight for one more day. Maybe, Joohyun likes to believe in a love like that. It’s strong when you’re weak. It’s soft when the world hardens you.

It’s present and always, always there.

“I know,” is the only thing Joohyun says.

Seungwan nods because she understands.

.

Later, when everyone’s out on their personal schedules, Irene takes Yerim out for ice cream. Yerim and Sooyoung easily reconciled over breakfast with Seungwan practically pushing Yerim to the older girl. Seulgi cheers for them to hug it out.

Joohyun finds out why their maknae is acting out. It’s about moods and seasons—and some days, she can’t help but feel lonely. Joohyun gets this and reminds the youngest member to talk to them. She knows Yerim is listening.

“Wannie said this, too,” Yerim says. “Did you have a script?”

Joohyun chuckles. She was about to respond when her phone buzzes.

It’s a message from Seungwan.

**Ask her about what she said to me.**

She looks up and eyes Yerim, “Tell me what you said to Seungwan when you talked earlier.”

A flash of fear is suddenly evident in Yerim’s eyes. It’s almost too funny.

“No.”

“Yerim-ah!”

Yerim grabs her phone and starts typing vigorously. Seconds later, Joohyun’s phone buzzes. Their maknae just sent a message to their group chat.

**Do I really have to tell her, Wendy-unnie?**

“What is it?” Joohyun asks the younger girl sitting across her. She is now genuinely curious.

The group chat buzzes again.

**We had a deal.**

That was Seungwan’s response.

Yerim takes a deep breath and Joohyun is convinced she’s really scared to utter this out loud. “Seungwan-unnie, she’s—“

“What?”

“She’s the cool mom.”

Joohyun’s eyes grow impossibly large, “Hey! What does that—”

It takes all of Yerim not to run.

No way—Joohyun is absolutely appalled. _I’m the cool mom_. She grabs her phone and starts typing madly.

The group chat becomes an absolute chaos.

/

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts? (if you happen to be on stan twt, find me at snsdoncrack - let's cry about wenrene together)


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